The Crimson Romance website has a poll asking readers, and writers for that matter, 'What's your favorite hero type?' Naturally vampires are on there but frankly, I've never understood their appeal.
For one thing, he'll never be able to help you in the yard. You tell ol' stiffy it's his turn to mow the grass and one of your neighbors is bound to come over in the middle of the night to stake him to the ground for making that kind of racket when everyone else has to work in the morning. And forget counting on him to man the grill at the next barbecue because he'll be out cold while you're working on your tan or freckling in the sun. Want to enjoy a companionable cup of coffee with your lover? Get used to him asking you to open a vein over his cup first or he won't be able to tolerate it.
All joking aside, I've never been able to suspend reality long enough to accept a sexy, virile vampire as a romantic lead. This guy is going to be cold. Think about it. You'll never feel warm under the sheets with him and he's going to leech away your body temperature like a block of ice. His chilly feet are the least of your worries. Speaking of which, the mechanics aren't going to work either. Your stiffy isn't going to get a stiffy without a functioning circulatory system to help him out.
And last but not least, when you see lust in his eyes, you'll always be wondering which kind is it, won't you? I know I would. I'd get mighty jumpy with this guy shadowing me around with that hungry look. I think I'd be snapping, "What!? Why are you looking at me like that? No more. I can't. I'm already a quart low every month. Find another meal ticket for that."
Sheesh. What could you possibly do with a guy like that?
For one thing, he'll never be able to help you in the yard. You tell ol' stiffy it's his turn to mow the grass and one of your neighbors is bound to come over in the middle of the night to stake him to the ground for making that kind of racket when everyone else has to work in the morning. And forget counting on him to man the grill at the next barbecue because he'll be out cold while you're working on your tan or freckling in the sun. Want to enjoy a companionable cup of coffee with your lover? Get used to him asking you to open a vein over his cup first or he won't be able to tolerate it.
All joking aside, I've never been able to suspend reality long enough to accept a sexy, virile vampire as a romantic lead. This guy is going to be cold. Think about it. You'll never feel warm under the sheets with him and he's going to leech away your body temperature like a block of ice. His chilly feet are the least of your worries. Speaking of which, the mechanics aren't going to work either. Your stiffy isn't going to get a stiffy without a functioning circulatory system to help him out.
And last but not least, when you see lust in his eyes, you'll always be wondering which kind is it, won't you? I know I would. I'd get mighty jumpy with this guy shadowing me around with that hungry look. I think I'd be snapping, "What!? Why are you looking at me like that? No more. I can't. I'm already a quart low every month. Find another meal ticket for that."
Sheesh. What could you possibly do with a guy like that?
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